Cousins

(Grace with her cousin, Janae)

No one comes from the earth like grass. We come like trees. We all have roots.

--Maya Angelou

This past weekend we went to John's parent's house for a family reunion.

(Actually it was a funeral for John's still living, still healthy Grandpa. His last wish is that he got to attend his own funeral, and that when he does die, that we not make a big deal out of it. He got to enjoy his family, all in one place, and he got to hear all the kind things people had to say about him. He got the idea from the Tom Sawyer book, it's been so long since I read it, I don't remember much about the reference, but everyone thought Tom was dead so they had a funeral for him and he happened to be present for it. I guess after reading about this, John's Grandpa was intrigued, and has always thought it was a good idea.)

Anyway, so there we all were, John's very large, very loud family, packed inside the cultural hall in the Duncan LDS church. Two things always amaze me about both our families when we all get together:

1. Our sheer numbers. John's Dad came from a family where he was the lone boy with 8 other sisters. You can imagine what has happened over the years, first as all of them married and had children, and now as their children are having children as well. I have never seen such a race for the chili line. (It didn't help that there were rumors that there wouldn't be enough food, but alas, there is always plenty.)

2.The relationship we have with our cousins. It seems like no matter how long it's been, or how much things have changed, cousins seem to always be your best buds. Many of them are in the same stage of life, so we all have that in common. But even more binding is our roots, as Maya Angelou points out. Our parents share the same DNA. We have the same influences. We laugh at the same things, and eat the same foods. We love the same Grandparents. We may not necessarily look alike, but our lives have been shaped in similar ways by the people who matter most to us.

While we were there, I noticed that John talked to the myriads of family at the reunion, like no time had passed since we saw them last. They chatted about children, jobs, and hobbies, and he planned a quick hunting trip with some of his cousins before we left. Many of them we hadn't seen in years, but it was as if it had been a few weeks before, and I know the same is true of his cousins on his Mom's side as well.

Later, as I watched Grace and Janae run all over my in-laws front yard, I saw myself with my cousins. Our cousins are like our best friends, but there's a hardiness about that relationship that we understand at the earliest age. You can argue, and you know it will be alright, because they'll still be your cousin. You can look forward to a lifetime of knowing them, because they can't disengage from their family ties. They're kind of like siblings that you don't have to live with.