A New Twist on Insanity
A few years ago I was enjoying my favorite time of day (after bedtime) with a big bowl of ice cream, and began to complain about my weight for the bazillionth time. John, who at that point was very familiar with my rhetoric about the female metabolism, reminded me of that Albert Einstein quote about insanity. You know which one I'm talking about, right?
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results. "
I had to laugh, and acknowledge the truth of the situation. It was like the time Allison and I were pulling out of the Jack-in-the-Box parking lot with Jumbo Jacks, wondering why our family has such a propensity to pack it on as we age. "It's not our fault" we agreed between huge bites. "We just have big bones."
Since then I've thought about that quote a lot. It's a great motivational tool, I'll admit. How can we expect our lives to be any different if we don't change the variables? But there was something about it that bothered me. Sometimes the variables aren't eligible for change. I think about this daily while sweeping the same place under Porter's high chair, sometimes 2 and 3 times. I thought about it last week, as I realized I was hoping John's paycheck would somehow go further than I knew it would, even though it's always exactly the same. I think about it when I put yet another pull-up on Emerson, even though in the past 6 months, the only time he has told me he needed to use the bathroom was as a stalling tactic after bedtime, or right in the middle of Sacrament Meeting. I know that none of these things are anything but normal, but I just can't help but feel a little crazy each time I think about it.
I realize that it has unwittingly become misused. It's kind of like when you hear a word, and you like it so much, you find ways to use it whenever you can. In this case though, I think it's more out of horror that I apply it to my life. It's like there's a narrator in my head, "You know Annie, the definition of insanity is..." and then I have to stop and scold myself for what I'm doing.
I finally had enough today. Instead of hiring a babysitter, I had decided to brave the movie theater again, by hauling Porter along, hoping he would get bored and fall asleep. Instead, I spent the entire hour and a half in the lobby, chasing after his new found speed. It was no different than it has been the last 6 or 7 movies during this summer's kids movie pass program. The quote kept playing in my mind.
Frustrated, I googled it. (Why I'm allowing this to take up so much time in my life is more a testament to my insanity than any unchanged behaviors, but that's another day.) Did you know that the quote has been attributed to Albert Einstein and Benjamin Franklin? While no one knows when it was first quoted, or if it was even authored by either man, it remains a talking point for counselors, AA members, and self help books. It's no more than a saying. I realized as I read about it, that while it works well in most instances, it can not be taken literally. And it has it's critics.
Because of this I've decided to adopt a new mantra for my little inner dialogues. I've decided to rename insanity. Drum roll please... it's new synonym is... optimism.
I am not insane, I am optimistic.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results. "
I had to laugh, and acknowledge the truth of the situation. It was like the time Allison and I were pulling out of the Jack-in-the-Box parking lot with Jumbo Jacks, wondering why our family has such a propensity to pack it on as we age. "It's not our fault" we agreed between huge bites. "We just have big bones."
Since then I've thought about that quote a lot. It's a great motivational tool, I'll admit. How can we expect our lives to be any different if we don't change the variables? But there was something about it that bothered me. Sometimes the variables aren't eligible for change. I think about this daily while sweeping the same place under Porter's high chair, sometimes 2 and 3 times. I thought about it last week, as I realized I was hoping John's paycheck would somehow go further than I knew it would, even though it's always exactly the same. I think about it when I put yet another pull-up on Emerson, even though in the past 6 months, the only time he has told me he needed to use the bathroom was as a stalling tactic after bedtime, or right in the middle of Sacrament Meeting. I know that none of these things are anything but normal, but I just can't help but feel a little crazy each time I think about it.
I realize that it has unwittingly become misused. It's kind of like when you hear a word, and you like it so much, you find ways to use it whenever you can. In this case though, I think it's more out of horror that I apply it to my life. It's like there's a narrator in my head, "You know Annie, the definition of insanity is..." and then I have to stop and scold myself for what I'm doing.
I finally had enough today. Instead of hiring a babysitter, I had decided to brave the movie theater again, by hauling Porter along, hoping he would get bored and fall asleep. Instead, I spent the entire hour and a half in the lobby, chasing after his new found speed. It was no different than it has been the last 6 or 7 movies during this summer's kids movie pass program. The quote kept playing in my mind.
Frustrated, I googled it. (Why I'm allowing this to take up so much time in my life is more a testament to my insanity than any unchanged behaviors, but that's another day.) Did you know that the quote has been attributed to Albert Einstein and Benjamin Franklin? While no one knows when it was first quoted, or if it was even authored by either man, it remains a talking point for counselors, AA members, and self help books. It's no more than a saying. I realized as I read about it, that while it works well in most instances, it can not be taken literally. And it has it's critics.
Because of this I've decided to adopt a new mantra for my little inner dialogues. I've decided to rename insanity. Drum roll please... it's new synonym is... optimism.
I am not insane, I am optimistic.
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